Overwhelmed Special-Needs Parents? Here Is Relief

When you become overwhelmed, take a moment to just stop.

Yes, stop in your tracks.

Ask yourself WHO is overwhelmed? Now the quick answer is "I am overwhelmed and stressed out, of course."

However, that answer is coming instantly from your egoic-mind. The mind run by your ego.

The egoic-mind loves to keep you in chaos.

When you are overwhelmed, if you take the time to tune into what you are thinking, you'll find the stress is coming from your thoughts linked to the past, or the future thoughts of fear.

For example, here is a past thought: "I gotta get this done because I missed a deadline before and this happened ________. I don't want that to happen again."

Here is a future thought: "I gotta get this done, or something awful is probably going to happen."

These thoughts are based on conditions and perceptions. When you stop and just examine the stressful, overwhelming thoughts, you will find you are not living in the here and now moment.

In the present is where you will find inner peace. You will be able to do what you have to do, without getting overwhelmed.

In fact, you will get more done because you are not spending your precious energy with stressful, fearful thoughts draining your life energy.

Instead focus on what you are doing at this very moment. Getting your special-needs child dressed? Stay in the moment and look at the color of the clothes as you slip a shirt of her head. Or how the texture feels. Don't let your mind wander to the next thing.

Your child will most likely feel your anxiety and resist the simplest task. This can be confused with their special-needs, but the truth is any child, without special needs, could feel your tension and resist you.

When you live in the moment, even the most arduous tasks will begin to be OK with you because you are not dreading them. Dreading what you have to do is living in the future. "I hate what I have to do." This only builds up tension and makes the job harder.

So think. Is it the tasks that get you overwhelmed, or the thoughts you are thinking about the tasks?

Be honest. Question your thoughts.

When you begin to observe what you are thinking, you will not be dragged around life like a fallen horseman whose foot is still attached in the saddle of a runaway horse.

Be in the moment.

Why Do So Many Children Seek Negative Attention?

All children seek attention. If children do not receive enough positive attention on a regular basis, they will do what is necessary to get attention through negative attention seeking behaviors. In the unconscious mind of a child, attention is attention. Many children with special needs have an even higher need for attention than a child who is nuerotypical does.

One of the basic needs in life is to receive attention and affirmation from the people around you. When an infant cries and a caregiver comes to meet her basic needs then she learns that the world is a safe place. When a two year old learns to talk and gets lots of praise and attention for it he learns to do it more often because he feels the warmth of praise. When a six year old builds a tower out of blocks and asks you to look at it and an adult looks and comments, she feels the warmth of acknowledgement. When a twelve year old receives an "A" on a math test and he is complimented by a teacher and/or a parent he feels the warmth of pride. When a sixteen year old receives a glance from a peer she is interested in, she feels the warmth of attraction. This goes on and on throughout life.

However, if at any point along the road the positive feelings are not acknowledged on a regular basis, children (and adults, too) will participate in negative behaviors in order to get people to notice them. If praise, acknowledgement, and positive feelings are not regularly given out to children they quickly learn that negative behaviors often bring them a lot of attention. Unfortunately, parents and teachers tend to react stronger, and therefore give more attention to, negative behaviors than positive. Children seems to zone in on those behaviors that get a strong reaction because they know if they do a certain behavior they are going to get a big reaction because it embarrasses you, angers you or is just plain unacceptable and must be addressed. It is important to note that, in most cases; the child is not making a conscious choice to get attention through negative behaviors, but has learned through experience that those behaviors tend to get them the desired attention they seek.

Changing negative attention seeking behaviors to positive attention seeking behaviors can be challenging and time consuming, and it is worth the effort because children who learn pro-social behaviors are more successful in life. Children who learn how to get attention appropriately are much more likely to become adults who get attention appropriately. The most effective strategy for most children in most situations is to ignore inappropriate behaviors, as long as they are not harmful. This means putting on your poker face and showing no emotion, even when you are disgusted, angry, hurt, etc. Then simultaneously you must praise and acknowledge all attempts at positive attention seeking. For some people this may be quite a challenge if they are not innately positive people or believe that children should not be praised for doing what is expected. However, if you want to see behavior change you must figure out how to break the cycle.

Free Yourself: Let "Stuff" Go

W
hen we hold onto to anything in life, there is pain.

Life is about flow. Everything in our universe reminds us of that. Sun rise, sunset. Tide in, tide out. Seasonal and weather changes, including moving clouds. Relationships starting and ending.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our egoic minds, that we forget life is about flow and we relentlessly insist that things have to be a certain way. We attach ourselves to our wrong perceptions.

I found myself caught up in values which I insisted on enforcing. It was frustrating.

Nature, especially animals, brings us back to truth. Letting go actually brings to us our desires.

Sachi, my year-old Malti-poo puppy, recently gave me a tremendous lesson on this point. And, since it's national dog week, I wanted to share with you what I learned from him.

If you have been following this blog, you know how much I love animals. In my spare time (LOL)... I'm a volunteer docent for the Los Angeles zoo, and I take small animals and reptiles out to children's hospitals, schools for autistic kids, and senior homes and rehabilitation centers.

I have been trying to train Satchi to walk by the lake with me every morning. I tried to incorporate a power walk with his walk, so we both exercise.

However, he insists on pulling all directions. I have bought every type of leash and harness on the market. Multiple dog training books on my bookshelf. And, he has had two trainers. I even watched practically every episode of the Cesar Millan (the Dog Whisper) television show.

Satchi couldn't care less. He was a rescue raised with Pit Bulls, Mastiffs, and German Shepherds. He has no clue that his 12-pound little body is not as big, and will jump on any dog, regardless of their size when he meets them. However, at home, he's a gentle, obedient baby-dog, as a friend recently called him.

One day, after meditating on this frustrating doggie issue, I got the message to let go of my attachment, of how he should walk with me. Being a mother of three, this is uncomfortable territory. Parents insist children, even doggie children obey.

I had to realize the morning walk was not for me for exercise, it's for him. Allow him to read the doggie newspaper (sniffing every tree) that he likes.

Instantly, my egoic mind told me, "But Cesar Millan says that's not right." "What will other people think when they see him leading ME?" and, "I'll have to stop and let him sniff every few minutes. I don't want to slow down, let alone stop!"

I realized that I was attached to my values, and my perceptions. We get that way when we insist on what we know, is the only way. It's not. Our judgement is merely clouded.

So despite my egoic mind hounding me, I tried walking him on a retractable leash and just allowing him to dart off to my left and right. My heart pounded as I impatiently waited for him to sniff everything... and I do mean everything. He's that type of dog.

I kept telling myself to let go, relax, go with the flow.

My egoic mind told me, "But you are supposed to be the master. Get that dog disciplined!"

However, I instead turned from my mind, (not easy) and placed my attentions on my bodily sensations as I allowed Satchi to do what he pleased on the walk. I focused on my whole-body clenching. My awareness of the knots and clenching inside of my body, allowed me to relax.

I got a chance to see my control issues come up. Not only with him, but it reminded me of other things in life I tried to control. Old issues came up with my kids, my husband, my writing, my speaking, and on and on.

The more I let go, Satchi calmed down. And, when I called him back to me, Magic! He came.

Now I used the time he stops to sniff, to concentrate on my breathing, and to enjoy the trees, and the lake. I realized I was so busy trying to control him, that I lost my power.

Gradually, over the next few weeks, Satchi sniffed less, and started walking by my side.

A few times lately when he stopped to sniff, I was so much into feeling my body sensations, the wind on my skin, absorbing the beauty around me, that I looked down and noticed that he was by my side sitting and looking up at me as if to say, "How long are you going to stand there? Let's go."

So my lessons came loud and clear:

Take in advice, but do what works for you.

Never mind what others may think.

Let go of wrong perceptions.

Let go of attaching yourself to old values.

Flow with life.

Speech Delay

Speech delay or alalia is a common childhood problem consisting of a delay in the normal development of articulating verbal expression. Although known to affect 3 out of 10 children, speech delay can also indicate the presence of a neurological or physiological dysfunction that needs immediate diagnosis and treatment. Taking into account that alalia has been found to produce further emotional, social and cognitive problems, a child who cannot pronounce at least two words by the time he/she is 18 months old or does not seem to understand and respond to what parents say, will have to be taken to a physician.

Some of the reasons why your child might manifest speech delay are presented below.

· Deformed frenulum, lips or palate

Sometimes speech delay has a simple explanation and is mainly the result of a physical disruption in the mouth. For example, Ankyloglossia, also known as tongue tie, is a congenital anomaly that is caused by an unusually short lingual frenulum. In short, the tongue's mobility is dramatically diminished, so that your child may not be able to pronounce words, although he/she has already developed language.

· Oral-motor dysfunctions

A child with oral-motor dysfunction will not babble as an infant would normally do, will have problems with combining words, and most importantly, will articulate words but with sounds missing. Mainly, this category of dysfunctions is created by an incoordination between the region of the brain in charge with speech production and the muscles in the mouth and tongue. One of the most common oral-motor disorders is Developmental Apraxia of Speech (DAS). Children with dyspraxia of speech have problems with moving and coordinating different parts of their mouth for verbal expression.

· Autism spectrum disorders

There are many red flags that can indicate your child has autism or Asperger's syndrome, but one of the most noticeable symptoms is speech delay. Usually, the lack of receptivity or interest in the spoken language, doubled by the inability to reproduce syllables or words, is typical for autistic children. They may later develop the ability to articulate words and express short sentences, but only after having gone through an intensive recovery program with a speech specialist.

· Auditory processing disorder

Also known as the central auditory processing disorder, APD affects 5% of all pre-school children and it relates to how the brain processes auditory information. Specifically, the dysfunction of the central nervous system leads to a difficulty in recognizing and interpreting sounds, although the structure of the outer, middle and inner ear is integral. APD can be easily mistaken for ADHD because they share a list of common symptoms: poor listening skills, low academic performance and behaviour problems.

The Debates In Your Head

T
he country is getting ready for the presidential debates. This reminds me of the debates constantly going on in our heads.

Some of your topics may be: "Should I ___?" "Why can't I___?" "Will this work?" "Have I got enough?" "How can I do this?"

Your mental debate is off and running. At the end of the day, is it a surprise that you are stressed and tired? Debating takes a lot of energy.

Keep in mind when you are engaged in these debates, the voices you hear inside are based on memories, which is the past, and perceptions which are usually wrong. Perceptions are based on looking at life through our colored lens, which includes how we were raised and experiences.

The egoic mind loves these debates because it keeps you spinning around, and it stays in control.

So how do you deal with these hard life questions? You don't.

When you start trusting your Higher Self, Spirit, or whatever you may call your Beingness, you won't have to engage in debates.

It works like this.

You ask Beingness a question like, "Which way should I go?" or "What should I do?" Then you release the problem and know that the right answer is on the way.

Your mind which engages you in debating an issue, doesn't know. So it's a waste of time rolling around trying to figure out the best of both sides. If it knew, the answer would come instantly.

The famous study of average people and geniuses is a story I love to tell.

In the 1960s there were two control groups. One with average people, the other with people testing in the genius category.

Both groups were given a problem to solve.

The average group sat up all day and night trying to figure out the answer. They were debating among themselves and in their heads.

The genius group all did different things. Some went to take a nap. Others went to a show or out to eat.

When the time was up. Both sides came back with their answers. The genius side was correct. The average group didn't have an answer to the problem they were given.

The lesson here was this. When you relax and let go, instinct from your Higher Self thinks through you. It can't do this when you are tensed, stressed, and trying hard to find solutions. You block not only the answers, but your own good.

Let go, and let God, then you won't have to debate.

Why Every Child Needs Creativity

Why Study Creativity In Young Children?

Just as all children are not equally intelligent, all children are not equally creative. But just as all children exhibit behaviors which evidence intelligence from birth, they also exhibit behaviors which evidence the potential for creativity.

Creativity is essentially a form of problem-solving. But it is a special type of problem-solving--one that involves problems for which there are no easy answers: that is, problems for which popular or conventional responses do not work. Creativity involves adaptability and flexibility of thought. These are the same types of skills that numerous reports on education have suggested are critical for students.

They need creativity for some essential benefits like:

Intellectual benefits: As children get older, different arts and crafts require more complex thinking skills, and many activities need an understanding of basic science concepts for them to make sense. Things like mixing specific colors or creating a mosaic pattern may seem like creative activities, but without an intellectual component the creativity falls apart. As your child learns these skills in a creative area, they can transfer them to other areas of their life as well.

Physical benefits: To put it in perspective, trying drawing a picture with a crayon held between your toes. The strength and co-ordination required to make that happen, is less than that required of toddlers learning to draw. in another perspective, when a child has an early creativity in sport, it brings about early fitness towards the sport.

Emotional Benefits: I believe creative activities provide a positive outcome for children to express their emotions, and this starts at a very young age.

Social Benefits: As children get older, arts works and some other creative activities can bring about a safe and positive way for children to socialize with others. Instead of just 'isolating', children can come together to make and create.

I believe child creativity brings about imagination, problem solving, skill development, bonding time and team work. Talking about imagination, creative activities engage a child's imagination and inspire his thoughts and perceptions. Moving to problem solving, creative activities present opportunities to problem solve, challenging a childs thinking, expanding his/her perspective and rewarding his/her initiatives.

On skill development, games such as tag and relay races help children develop their gross motor skills while drawing and painting also increase their development of skills. Team work will bring about individual self confidence as well as the ability for them to contribute as well as working as a team while bonding time bring about strong relationship due to the precious time been spend together as a family or group.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Harun_Olamilekan_Abdulrazaq

Is Mike Byster Really a Human Calculator?

Mike Byster, the genius in Mathematics is also called as the Human Calculator because of the speed that he calculates the toughest of problems in seconds, just as a calculator does it.

He did a presentation at Goddard Middle school in 2007 and a few details are discussed here. While doing problems thrown at him, he just closed his eyes and shifted his head to both the sides and the answer was there. Students were so impressed, that they just kept asking questions and they just fell for him for his wonders in mathematics.

Mike, then explained that how he developed the passion of learning maths. The basics that should be done are to learn how to memorize techniques, concentration, discipline and hard work to help their brains grow. Mike always believes that, children should always believe in themselves and where they are aiming to go.

According to the ABC 20/20, in one of Mike's interviews, he himself states that psychologists call him the Human Calculator for the lightning speed he has in solving even the toughest and complicated mathematical problems. Mikes' Maths is what he names his system of solving problems. It involves a series of shortcuts and patterns that demystify how numbers work.

His passion for solving problems started at the age of 3 or 4. He used to try memorizing things and at that age, he was able to recite almost all the presidents of United States. That is power of mental capacity in kids. While growing up, he wanted to use his potential in a good manner; however, he never thought that he would become a teacher.

Teaching Kids to think differently

This is what exactly Mike does. He wants children to think differently so that they learn the art of memorizing things not only in mathematics but also in all aspects of life. For example, in one of his classes he asked his students to memorize randomly 10 words. The students recalled about half the words. Then Mike used a simple mnemonic technique. He narrated a story using those ten words and the retention rate was remarkable. This was interesting as well increased the confidence level of the students for the future.

Thus, with the blessing, Mike Byster has received and with hard work, he has come to be known as the human calculator. In all means and the speed and way, which he adopts his thinking is just remarkable thus enabling the next generation of children to believe in their minds.