Sunday, October 28, 2012

It Doesn't Matter If Others Don't Understand Our Challenges Raising Special-Needs Children

I
found the hardest part about raising my special-needs child, who was also extremely difficult, was not dealing with him, but dealing with outside people.

Simply put, others did not understand. Because Devon was not physically challenged, they saw a bright, charming and smart kid with behavioral issues. So of course if they didn't know his back story, they looked at me and my husband askew.

Turn on any talk show, especially when he was growing up in the mid nineties, and the hot issue was parents and kids. It still is, but talk shows were new, and they could consistently get ratings with family issues, especially with kids. The parents were constantly, blamed and judged. They were always made to be wrong.

Growing up, our son Devon was emotionally challenged diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, ADD, Bi-polar and opposition ally defiant. When we adopted him at age 3, he had been in three different homes and was physically and sexually abused. He was born with PCP and Cocaine in his system. I wrote about our story in my memoir "A Mother's Journey: Finding Inner Peace Raising a Difficult Child."

So, most of my time, and my husband's time, was correcting teachers, mental health professionals, family, friends and others who all had a strong opinions of what we should be doing to help Devon.

Some looked at us as their "case," and they were going to try to save us. However, dealing with Devon, as an one-child psychiatrist told us after weeks of evaluation, "Was like dealing with a ghost." His behaviors couldn't be charted or predicted.

Walter said when dealing with Devon and trying to help him that "Devon remained the same, but the people changed."

He was so right.

And, when people had opinions and they didn't work. You could see them back away. It never failed. We went from "slacking" parents in their eyes to angels. We often heard the same phrase, "How could you deal with him? You guys are angels."

Walter (my husband) and I didn't accept the "Angel" compliment. For one thing, we didn't feel we were special. We simply were going through hell with our child, which is what any caring parent would do. We saw our son as a loving kid, which he was, who had terrible injustices done to him at an early age, and who saw the world as the enemy who he had to fight and manipulate.

We dealt with an army of people relating to helping Devon. Looking back now, I see my life would have been much easier if I had been more accepting of their judgements, even if they were wrong, which was most of the time. Some even said horrible things to us which we should do with Devon, including, giving him up.

We couldn't do that.

Today, he is a self-sufficient, happy young man, having served his time in the U.S. Marines, and just finished his first degree at a Criminal Justice school, where he works.

So how do you deal with people who simply don't understand?

You don't. You deal with your own feelings, without fighting them. You need all of your strength just to raise a special-needs child. Besides, people are seeing life through their own colored lens, and you can't stop them from having their opinions, but you can stop them from making your life miserable.

It took me years of spiritual searching to learn what I am about to tell you to make your life so much easier. This blog is dedicated to this principle. Living in the moment (Mindfulness). Living in truth.

When someone says something that aggravates you, instead of resisting them. Go inside and feel the sensation. Usually it will be in your chest, or stomach. On the other hand, you may notice your whole body tense.

This is a normal reaction. We resist what we don't want. However, this blog is about stepping into freedom, and resisting is simply holding what you don't want in place.

What advice is usually given, is to forgive and love those people. It's definitely important to do that just to free yourself from toxic emotions. However, it can be difficult to do that right away.

Try this:

Allow those feelings inside of you to come up. Don't worry. Your head won't blow off, as you may expect. Releasing that energy, (thoughts and emotions are just energy), by putting your attention on inner sensations, gives you a spacious to deal with others with wisdom instead of anger. Usually we say things we want to take back when we react to their outlandish and hurtful comments. And, when you resist, you are holding onto anger and frustration.

Just observe what is going on inside of you.

It's important, not to judge or criticize what you are witnessing inside. Don't try to interpret what you are feeling. Just "see" with your inner eyes what you are feeling. Is it a dull ache? Trembling? Movement? Does it have a color? What is the texture?

Notice how you are holding your body. Are your shoulders up to your ears with tension? Stomach knotted? Just place your attention there. Don't fall into the story of what you are feeling. Just observe.

This is Mindfulness. Being in the moment.

Your thoughts will come back, sometimes with a vengeance, and often, many times. Just stop, see the thoughts coming and going like clouds, and place your attention back on feeling the sensations.

You'll find your body relaxing, and a space opening inside of you. You won't be attached to the anger and frustrations you held onto from others.

This is a skill you can easily develop, which will give you back your power.

You will no longer be on defense with others. And, they will sense your inner peace, which they too want in their lives. You may find them asking you for advice, instead of giving it to you.

Through the Eyes of Autism: A Mommy's Tears

It is another restless night as I look through the eyes of autism shedding my own personal tears. As a professional, I have seen many cases of autism and have helped parents and teachers over the years develop strategies to help their own children. Yet I shed tears because I feel like I am unable to help my own child. I shed tears because the disorganization of autism creates a level of paralysis that no parent can deny-feelings of helplessness.

I remember when I wrote my first ezine article and I described how my toddler at the time helped me move through so many storms within life-helped me accomplish dreams that I perceived I was unable to do on my own. At that time, autism was only an "idea" but never the diagnosis. As I watched him grow over the years, I saw more signs of the disorder and even with a diagnosis at age five, I still felt like I had control of the disorder. Why one might ask? I felt like I had control over my own feelings and emotions. As time moves on however, feelings of helplessness have me paralyzed when I shed tears looking through the eyes of autism.

Two years later I now see what so many parents have stated as to why they "hate" autism. I see why they state that they wish there was a cure to autism. It is not that these parents do not love their child or are not aware about autism; it is the feelings of not being able to help one's child when the disorganization appears to take over their child's life. Things I never thought would happen (e.g. eloping) to my child has happened all because of the disorganization of autism.

So how do I move beyond the tears? Honestly, it is an uphill battle daily. I find myself trying to explain to parents of typical children that my child's behaviors are typical for him as he learns to survive in a confusing world. I remind myself that although my child is diagnosed with autism, autism will not control his life. We work hard daily like so many other parents to make the world seem less disorganized in his little mind. We love him daily and remind him how proud we are of him for just being him. More importantly as a mommy I remind myself that autism is just that, autism. However, my son will always be my son. He will always be the child that I love and who loves me unconditionally. We move together through the highs and lows of autism, but we will not be shaken into a state of fear by the disorganization of autism.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Top 5 Most Effective Autism Strategies

Autism is increasing at an alarming rate. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stated that the prevalence had increased to 1 in every 88 as of March 2012. While the cause of autism is still unknown, there are specific strategies that have been identified as most effective. Here are the top five most effective strategies.

1) Visual Schedules

Research clearly shows the successful results of implementing visual schedules with children. These schedules allow daily routines to be predictable, with clear expectations. Fear of the unknown causes anxiety. Children with autism or other special needs have a difficult time communicating their feelings of anxiety. Frequently this anxiety is demonstrated in negative or inappropriate behavior. Care givers must keep in mind that all behavior is communication.

Establishing and following a visual schedule reduces unexpected events or situations and assists children in predicting and preparing for transitions. Schedules themselves must be predictable. They are best as visuals, even when the child is able to read. A written schedule may be implemented later with caution and careful progress monitoring. In addition, they should be kept in the same location at all times. There are several resources and software programs that assist with schedule creation and universal graphics.

Children must be taught how to read and interpret the visual schedule. A "check schedule" transition cue is used to communicate to the individual each time he or she is to transition to a new activity. Visual schedules are effective at school and at home.

2) Environmental Considerations

Visual and auditory stimulation in the classroom and home must be taken into consideration. The classroom should be organized and predictable. The scissors should always be found in the same location. Homework is turned in in the exact same way each day. This is important in the home as well. The child's personal belongings have designated "homes." For example, a backpack is always found on the same hook. A favorite toy or book is on the same place on a book shelf.

Auditory stimulation must be examined as well. Do the chairs make a screechy noise as students move around? Is there a slow hum to the lighting? Is the fluorescent lighting too bright? Will a lamp set a different, calming mood? These considerations will vary from child to child; however, all visual and auditory stimuli must be examined. Be sure to think outside the box. Would a blue room be more calming than a yellow room?

3) Visual Structure

The environment needs to be organized visually to help children identify and comprehend what is expected of them. Color coded folders for each content area may be coordinated with the visual schedule. Clearly defined areas, such as work stations, tape on the floor, and labeled centers provide structure. This may be done in the home as well. Some examples include:

· a designated spot at the dinner table

· a visual schedule for bedtime routine

· organized dresser drawers by color and items

· specific containers for each toy

· a daily schedule for weekdays and weekends

4) Alternatives to Verbal Communication

Some children may have significant impairments in expressive communication. Current technology may be very appropriate to increase appropriate behavior and independence. The Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) has been very effective. This is a system developed in 1985 that allows children to initiate conversation. It is not expensive and doesn't require complex equipment.

Other options include voice output communication devices. This is a very exciting area with all the latest technology and apps being created. Some devices are quite large and more durable for children who may not understand how to handle something with care. Other devices are so small they may be hooked to a belt loop for easy use out in the community.

Augmentative communication is a great strategy. However, it is important to understand the universal means of communication and ensure the device or method may be implemented with any child or adult, not just school personnel or caregivers. A back up system of communication should be available in case of a device malfunction or misunderstanding on the recipient of the message, i.e. a grocery store worker, a new student, a substitute teacher.


5) Direct Instruction of Social Skills

Many children with special needs will benefit from direct instruction in social skills. Most do not learn interaction skills by simply being placed in social environments. Social skills must be taught in the same direct instructional way as any other academic content area.

Research has shown social stories and social scripts to be highly effective. Social stories target behaviors that need to be modified or reinforced in real life situations. Replacement behaviors must also be taught. Simply showing or telling the child what not to do is not effective. Social scripts are short scripts children learn and practice. For example, everyone uses a very similar social script when greeting a colleague in the morning. Some children must be taught these common scripts.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Effective Parent Advocacy Skills

Possessing effective parent advocacy skills is not something that comes naturally to many parents of children with special needs. However, I believe learning and refining these skills is essential for the long-term success of most children with special needs. Do not be fooled into thinking that just because you live in a "good" school district that your child is getting a quality education. Based on how the current educational system works (or doesn't work) you must be an active participant in your child's education if you want them to possess the necessary skills to function in society after they graduate from high school or age out of special education at 21.

One very important advocacy skill to constantly work on developing is building positive working relationships with your child's teacher(s) and case managers. The best way to do this is to establish regular communication with your child's service providers, to show up to IEP meetings and conferences and to share your successes and failures as home. Children with special needs really need a team that works together to make steady progress.

Another very important advocacy skill is to know and understand your parental rights, also called procedural safeguards. These rights are spelled out in The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and each state has them listed on their department of education website. The difficulty with these rights is that they are written in legal language, which is often hard to understand and interpret. I urge you to take the time to read the packet that should be given to you when you sign consent for your child to be evaluated for special education and every year, thereafter. If you do not understand any of your rights, either ask the case manager to explain it to you or go on-line to learn what it means.

Another very important advocacy skill to possess is the ability to stay calm and cool at meetings, over the phone and through e-mail communication even when you are angry or upset. Many people do not respond well to angry people, especially when it is directed at them. Take your time to gather your thoughts and get your emotions under control before addressing issues with your child's education, IEP or the IEP process. You are much more likely to get to a resolution that will benefit your child if you keep yourself rationale and calm than if you are explosive, accusing and/or disrespectful.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Asperger's Syndrome Concerns

Asperger's syndrome (AS) or Asperger's disorder (AD) is a pervasive developmental disorder characterized by a conjuncture of symptoms such as: qualitative impairment of social interaction, repetitive or stereotypical behaviour, activities and interests, physical clumsiness. To be noted that unlike autism, Asperger's does not affect the normal cognitive and language development of the patient.

Currently, there are several screening instruments used by pediatricians or general practitioners to diagnose a child suffering from Asperger's as soon as he/she is 30 months old. Some of these screening instruments are: Asperger Syndrome Diagnostic Scale, Childhood Asperger Syndrome Test, Gilliam Asperger's Disorder Scale, Autism Spectrum Quotient, Krug Asperger's Disorder Index, and Autism Spectrum Screening Questionnaire.

The exact causes of Asperger's syndrome are not known, however, there is enough evidence to suggest a genetic contribution. It seems that AS runs in the family, although no specific gene has been linked to the disorder. Apparently, the likelihood for a child to be born with AS increases with every family member who manifests behavioral symptoms such as: difficulties with exposure and management of social interactions and/or problems with reading or language. Other theories suggest that AS can result from prenatal exposure to agents that cause birth defects.

The first symptom of children suffering from AS is impaired social interaction. Specifically, their social behavior has been characterized as "active but odd". While people with AS may cognitively understand the concept of emotion or empathy, being able to theorize and accept them as facts, they will still not be able to show them in a social context. As a result they might come off as rude, insensitive, indifferent or annoying, although willing to engage and talk. Some children manifest what is known as "selective mutism" when they will speak only to the individuals they like or want to, while remaining perfectly silent in the presence of others.

By the age of 5 or 6, a child suffering from AS will start displaying an unusually focused interest in some activity or field of knowledge, easily memorizing detailed information or data about a narrow subject. This amazing display of memory capacity is counteracted by the fact that he/she is not able to see the bigger picture or the context of the information held. Although an AS child's interests can vary with time, he/she will still be immersed into pursuing one specific and narrow part of a subject. Also, other more or less complex body movements become highly stereotyped (flapping, clapping, head turning, pirouette etc.).

With regard to language and speech development, although no clinical delays have been reported, the acquisition and use of language is rather atypical. For example, a child with AS cannot understand a joke, a fantasy story, metaphors or figurative language in general because he/she interprets them literally.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Practical Tips To Help With Your Child's Learning Disability

The first thing to understand and embed in your system while dealing with your kids' learning disability is that you have to focus on their strengths and not on their weaknesses. They might not be able to spell as well as others, or may not know how to add up, but they may paint beautifully or may make interesting objects out of stuff lying around the house. Don't think that your kid is dumb, they are just special. Respect the difference and work to give these kids a normal life just like other kids of their age.

Here are some practical tips to help you deal with the child's learning disability:

1. Be your own expert and take charge of your kid's education: This will be that time when people from all over come up with advice and a host of suggestions. They might be well wishers. But as a parent you know better what to do. Defend your child's right to a proper education. Of course special schools can always be considered. But if the disability is such that a few months tutoring at home can bring them at par with the normal children, that's the way it should be. Try and communicate with the school of the child and talk to them about the following points:

• Clarify your goals well to the school authorities. Offer few solutions to the faculty to help your child perform better.

• Be a patient listener. Be ready to listen what school authorities have to say.

• Stay optimistic, calm and don't give up easily.

2. Understand how your child learns best: After you have figured out how your child learns best try and use them in the teaching methods. Your kid might find the audio visual medium more engaging. Get ABC learning videos or get apps on your smartphones that will help your kid write, read and draw. Sometimes the speaking skills of children are affected. That too can be corrected by these. There are hosts of material in the audio visual segment that can help with your kid's phonics understanding and interpretation. If your child is a kinesthetic learner, then there is nothing better than the field trips, model building, role playing and memory games.

3. Focus on the larger picture, think of success in life rather than success in school: Getting good grades in school is important but how important is it from a life perspective. Doing bad in school is acceptable, but reprimanding the child harshly, will probably push their success over two to three years back. So think not just academics, but that sense of self worth, the self confidence and the guts to live in the real world. Make your kid tough. Teach them to stand up for themselves and teach them to take wins and losses in the stride.

4. Encourage a healthy lifestyle: A healthy mind dwells in a healthy body. Diet, exercise, work and play, all need to be a part of the routine of your kids' daily activities.

• Exercise: Regular exercise not only keeps the body fit but also the mind. It helps in improving the mood, energy and clarity of the mind. Encourage the child to go outside and play.

• Diet: A diet that is rich in nutrients is sure to support the development and growth of the child. A diet that consists of whole grains, lean proteins, vegetables and fruits help in boosting the mental focus.

• Sleep: In case a child is not well rested their learning capabilities are badly affected. A sound sleep helps the child concentrate better.

Finally take care of yourself too. Your kid will need you for a long time to come, so be there for her. Take your health seriously; practice what you preach to her. And don't give up. A learning disability is just like any other thing, it's not invincible or insurmountable.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Could a 'Free Education for All' Dream Come True?

University education had always been, by definition, elitist. Reserved for the brightest or the richest. But in recent years, initiatives from Ivy League and Oxbridge universities have used web platforms like EdX and iTunes U to bring the experience of top flight education to eager learners across the world. Now an explosion of popularity for Coursera has taken e-learning to a new level, with 1.3million students following 200 courses, from 33 top universities. For free.

Let that sink in a moment. As the cost of a traditional degree rockets towards £9K a year in the UK, and between $27-40K in the US, Coursera has enabled people across the world to access the latest knowledge, for the cost of an internet connection.

From the 11th century beginnings of Oxford University through to the 17th century launch of Harvard right through to the 1960s Polytechnics of the UK and the Community Colleges of the US, there has always been either a barrier of academic achievement or some sort of payment required. (Not to mention it taking a good few centuries for 'being a girl' to stop being an issue). While the UK had student grants until the late 1990s, students had to at least have the A Level results to get on to a course in the first place.

Even the UK's flagship distance learning college, the Open University, has had it's subsidies wrenched away, sending module costs soaring to not far off a bricks and mortar degree.

According to Techcrunch, while the Coursera team initially had to pound the pavement looking for partnerships from America's top institutions, now the situation is flipped:

'Institutions are signing up in droves and it may not be long before Coursera's acceptance rate mimics Harvard's. Seventeen new universities have joined the startup's platform, nearly doubling the number of schools that have signed on. That means Coursera's platform now hosts about 200 courses from 33 international and domestic schools and it now reaches over 1.3 million students around the world.'

So with tuition costs higher than ever, how does Coursera do it and is it scalable to the point where, hell, anyone can get a top education for free?

Well, it got some investment cash in April this year, but that $16 million was not a gift and it won't last forever. Coursera is a 'for-profit' organisation and a few money making initiatives have been mooted, including charging students for certificates, sponsorship from businesses and acting as a go-between for students and employers.

While the number of students is growing, there is an obvious ceiling. Simply, if everyone is studying online and no-one attends the real-life Unis, those schools cease to exist and so does their contribution to Coursera. And there is one other whopping element of university life missing from Coursera: the social life. Networking and collaborating are as vital as absorbing facts and producing essays. Which is where Coursera competitor, Udacity may take the biscuit.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Overwhelmed Special-Needs Parents? Here Is Relief

When you become overwhelmed, take a moment to just stop.

Yes, stop in your tracks.

Ask yourself WHO is overwhelmed? Now the quick answer is "I am overwhelmed and stressed out, of course."

However, that answer is coming instantly from your egoic-mind. The mind run by your ego.

The egoic-mind loves to keep you in chaos.

When you are overwhelmed, if you take the time to tune into what you are thinking, you'll find the stress is coming from your thoughts linked to the past, or the future thoughts of fear.

For example, here is a past thought: "I gotta get this done because I missed a deadline before and this happened ________. I don't want that to happen again."

Here is a future thought: "I gotta get this done, or something awful is probably going to happen."

These thoughts are based on conditions and perceptions. When you stop and just examine the stressful, overwhelming thoughts, you will find you are not living in the here and now moment.

In the present is where you will find inner peace. You will be able to do what you have to do, without getting overwhelmed.

In fact, you will get more done because you are not spending your precious energy with stressful, fearful thoughts draining your life energy.

Instead focus on what you are doing at this very moment. Getting your special-needs child dressed? Stay in the moment and look at the color of the clothes as you slip a shirt of her head. Or how the texture feels. Don't let your mind wander to the next thing.

Your child will most likely feel your anxiety and resist the simplest task. This can be confused with their special-needs, but the truth is any child, without special needs, could feel your tension and resist you.

When you live in the moment, even the most arduous tasks will begin to be OK with you because you are not dreading them. Dreading what you have to do is living in the future. "I hate what I have to do." This only builds up tension and makes the job harder.

So think. Is it the tasks that get you overwhelmed, or the thoughts you are thinking about the tasks?

Be honest. Question your thoughts.

When you begin to observe what you are thinking, you will not be dragged around life like a fallen horseman whose foot is still attached in the saddle of a runaway horse.

Be in the moment.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Why Do So Many Children Seek Negative Attention?

All children seek attention. If children do not receive enough positive attention on a regular basis, they will do what is necessary to get attention through negative attention seeking behaviors. In the unconscious mind of a child, attention is attention. Many children with special needs have an even higher need for attention than a child who is nuerotypical does.

One of the basic needs in life is to receive attention and affirmation from the people around you. When an infant cries and a caregiver comes to meet her basic needs then she learns that the world is a safe place. When a two year old learns to talk and gets lots of praise and attention for it he learns to do it more often because he feels the warmth of praise. When a six year old builds a tower out of blocks and asks you to look at it and an adult looks and comments, she feels the warmth of acknowledgement. When a twelve year old receives an "A" on a math test and he is complimented by a teacher and/or a parent he feels the warmth of pride. When a sixteen year old receives a glance from a peer she is interested in, she feels the warmth of attraction. This goes on and on throughout life.

However, if at any point along the road the positive feelings are not acknowledged on a regular basis, children (and adults, too) will participate in negative behaviors in order to get people to notice them. If praise, acknowledgement, and positive feelings are not regularly given out to children they quickly learn that negative behaviors often bring them a lot of attention. Unfortunately, parents and teachers tend to react stronger, and therefore give more attention to, negative behaviors than positive. Children seems to zone in on those behaviors that get a strong reaction because they know if they do a certain behavior they are going to get a big reaction because it embarrasses you, angers you or is just plain unacceptable and must be addressed. It is important to note that, in most cases; the child is not making a conscious choice to get attention through negative behaviors, but has learned through experience that those behaviors tend to get them the desired attention they seek.

Changing negative attention seeking behaviors to positive attention seeking behaviors can be challenging and time consuming, and it is worth the effort because children who learn pro-social behaviors are more successful in life. Children who learn how to get attention appropriately are much more likely to become adults who get attention appropriately. The most effective strategy for most children in most situations is to ignore inappropriate behaviors, as long as they are not harmful. This means putting on your poker face and showing no emotion, even when you are disgusted, angry, hurt, etc. Then simultaneously you must praise and acknowledge all attempts at positive attention seeking. For some people this may be quite a challenge if they are not innately positive people or believe that children should not be praised for doing what is expected. However, if you want to see behavior change you must figure out how to break the cycle.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Free Yourself: Let "Stuff" Go

W
hen we hold onto to anything in life, there is pain.

Life is about flow. Everything in our universe reminds us of that. Sun rise, sunset. Tide in, tide out. Seasonal and weather changes, including moving clouds. Relationships starting and ending.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our egoic minds, that we forget life is about flow and we relentlessly insist that things have to be a certain way. We attach ourselves to our wrong perceptions.

I found myself caught up in values which I insisted on enforcing. It was frustrating.

Nature, especially animals, brings us back to truth. Letting go actually brings to us our desires.

Sachi, my year-old Malti-poo puppy, recently gave me a tremendous lesson on this point. And, since it's national dog week, I wanted to share with you what I learned from him.

If you have been following this blog, you know how much I love animals. In my spare time (LOL)... I'm a volunteer docent for the Los Angeles zoo, and I take small animals and reptiles out to children's hospitals, schools for autistic kids, and senior homes and rehabilitation centers.

I have been trying to train Satchi to walk by the lake with me every morning. I tried to incorporate a power walk with his walk, so we both exercise.

However, he insists on pulling all directions. I have bought every type of leash and harness on the market. Multiple dog training books on my bookshelf. And, he has had two trainers. I even watched practically every episode of the Cesar Millan (the Dog Whisper) television show.

Satchi couldn't care less. He was a rescue raised with Pit Bulls, Mastiffs, and German Shepherds. He has no clue that his 12-pound little body is not as big, and will jump on any dog, regardless of their size when he meets them. However, at home, he's a gentle, obedient baby-dog, as a friend recently called him.

One day, after meditating on this frustrating doggie issue, I got the message to let go of my attachment, of how he should walk with me. Being a mother of three, this is uncomfortable territory. Parents insist children, even doggie children obey.

I had to realize the morning walk was not for me for exercise, it's for him. Allow him to read the doggie newspaper (sniffing every tree) that he likes.

Instantly, my egoic mind told me, "But Cesar Millan says that's not right." "What will other people think when they see him leading ME?" and, "I'll have to stop and let him sniff every few minutes. I don't want to slow down, let alone stop!"

I realized that I was attached to my values, and my perceptions. We get that way when we insist on what we know, is the only way. It's not. Our judgement is merely clouded.

So despite my egoic mind hounding me, I tried walking him on a retractable leash and just allowing him to dart off to my left and right. My heart pounded as I impatiently waited for him to sniff everything... and I do mean everything. He's that type of dog.

I kept telling myself to let go, relax, go with the flow.

My egoic mind told me, "But you are supposed to be the master. Get that dog disciplined!"

However, I instead turned from my mind, (not easy) and placed my attentions on my bodily sensations as I allowed Satchi to do what he pleased on the walk. I focused on my whole-body clenching. My awareness of the knots and clenching inside of my body, allowed me to relax.

I got a chance to see my control issues come up. Not only with him, but it reminded me of other things in life I tried to control. Old issues came up with my kids, my husband, my writing, my speaking, and on and on.

The more I let go, Satchi calmed down. And, when I called him back to me, Magic! He came.

Now I used the time he stops to sniff, to concentrate on my breathing, and to enjoy the trees, and the lake. I realized I was so busy trying to control him, that I lost my power.

Gradually, over the next few weeks, Satchi sniffed less, and started walking by my side.

A few times lately when he stopped to sniff, I was so much into feeling my body sensations, the wind on my skin, absorbing the beauty around me, that I looked down and noticed that he was by my side sitting and looking up at me as if to say, "How long are you going to stand there? Let's go."

So my lessons came loud and clear:

Take in advice, but do what works for you.

Never mind what others may think.

Let go of wrong perceptions.

Let go of attaching yourself to old values.

Flow with life.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Speech Delay

Speech delay or alalia is a common childhood problem consisting of a delay in the normal development of articulating verbal expression. Although known to affect 3 out of 10 children, speech delay can also indicate the presence of a neurological or physiological dysfunction that needs immediate diagnosis and treatment. Taking into account that alalia has been found to produce further emotional, social and cognitive problems, a child who cannot pronounce at least two words by the time he/she is 18 months old or does not seem to understand and respond to what parents say, will have to be taken to a physician.

Some of the reasons why your child might manifest speech delay are presented below.

· Deformed frenulum, lips or palate

Sometimes speech delay has a simple explanation and is mainly the result of a physical disruption in the mouth. For example, Ankyloglossia, also known as tongue tie, is a congenital anomaly that is caused by an unusually short lingual frenulum. In short, the tongue's mobility is dramatically diminished, so that your child may not be able to pronounce words, although he/she has already developed language.

· Oral-motor dysfunctions

A child with oral-motor dysfunction will not babble as an infant would normally do, will have problems with combining words, and most importantly, will articulate words but with sounds missing. Mainly, this category of dysfunctions is created by an incoordination between the region of the brain in charge with speech production and the muscles in the mouth and tongue. One of the most common oral-motor disorders is Developmental Apraxia of Speech (DAS). Children with dyspraxia of speech have problems with moving and coordinating different parts of their mouth for verbal expression.

· Autism spectrum disorders

There are many red flags that can indicate your child has autism or Asperger's syndrome, but one of the most noticeable symptoms is speech delay. Usually, the lack of receptivity or interest in the spoken language, doubled by the inability to reproduce syllables or words, is typical for autistic children. They may later develop the ability to articulate words and express short sentences, but only after having gone through an intensive recovery program with a speech specialist.

· Auditory processing disorder

Also known as the central auditory processing disorder, APD affects 5% of all pre-school children and it relates to how the brain processes auditory information. Specifically, the dysfunction of the central nervous system leads to a difficulty in recognizing and interpreting sounds, although the structure of the outer, middle and inner ear is integral. APD can be easily mistaken for ADHD because they share a list of common symptoms: poor listening skills, low academic performance and behaviour problems.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Debates In Your Head

T
he country is getting ready for the presidential debates. This reminds me of the debates constantly going on in our heads.

Some of your topics may be: "Should I ___?" "Why can't I___?" "Will this work?" "Have I got enough?" "How can I do this?"

Your mental debate is off and running. At the end of the day, is it a surprise that you are stressed and tired? Debating takes a lot of energy.

Keep in mind when you are engaged in these debates, the voices you hear inside are based on memories, which is the past, and perceptions which are usually wrong. Perceptions are based on looking at life through our colored lens, which includes how we were raised and experiences.

The egoic mind loves these debates because it keeps you spinning around, and it stays in control.

So how do you deal with these hard life questions? You don't.

When you start trusting your Higher Self, Spirit, or whatever you may call your Beingness, you won't have to engage in debates.

It works like this.

You ask Beingness a question like, "Which way should I go?" or "What should I do?" Then you release the problem and know that the right answer is on the way.

Your mind which engages you in debating an issue, doesn't know. So it's a waste of time rolling around trying to figure out the best of both sides. If it knew, the answer would come instantly.

The famous study of average people and geniuses is a story I love to tell.

In the 1960s there were two control groups. One with average people, the other with people testing in the genius category.

Both groups were given a problem to solve.

The average group sat up all day and night trying to figure out the answer. They were debating among themselves and in their heads.

The genius group all did different things. Some went to take a nap. Others went to a show or out to eat.

When the time was up. Both sides came back with their answers. The genius side was correct. The average group didn't have an answer to the problem they were given.

The lesson here was this. When you relax and let go, instinct from your Higher Self thinks through you. It can't do this when you are tensed, stressed, and trying hard to find solutions. You block not only the answers, but your own good.

Let go, and let God, then you won't have to debate.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Why Every Child Needs Creativity

Why Study Creativity In Young Children?

Just as all children are not equally intelligent, all children are not equally creative. But just as all children exhibit behaviors which evidence intelligence from birth, they also exhibit behaviors which evidence the potential for creativity.

Creativity is essentially a form of problem-solving. But it is a special type of problem-solving--one that involves problems for which there are no easy answers: that is, problems for which popular or conventional responses do not work. Creativity involves adaptability and flexibility of thought. These are the same types of skills that numerous reports on education have suggested are critical for students.

They need creativity for some essential benefits like:

Intellectual benefits: As children get older, different arts and crafts require more complex thinking skills, and many activities need an understanding of basic science concepts for them to make sense. Things like mixing specific colors or creating a mosaic pattern may seem like creative activities, but without an intellectual component the creativity falls apart. As your child learns these skills in a creative area, they can transfer them to other areas of their life as well.

Physical benefits: To put it in perspective, trying drawing a picture with a crayon held between your toes. The strength and co-ordination required to make that happen, is less than that required of toddlers learning to draw. in another perspective, when a child has an early creativity in sport, it brings about early fitness towards the sport.

Emotional Benefits: I believe creative activities provide a positive outcome for children to express their emotions, and this starts at a very young age.

Social Benefits: As children get older, arts works and some other creative activities can bring about a safe and positive way for children to socialize with others. Instead of just 'isolating', children can come together to make and create.

I believe child creativity brings about imagination, problem solving, skill development, bonding time and team work. Talking about imagination, creative activities engage a child's imagination and inspire his thoughts and perceptions. Moving to problem solving, creative activities present opportunities to problem solve, challenging a childs thinking, expanding his/her perspective and rewarding his/her initiatives.

On skill development, games such as tag and relay races help children develop their gross motor skills while drawing and painting also increase their development of skills. Team work will bring about individual self confidence as well as the ability for them to contribute as well as working as a team while bonding time bring about strong relationship due to the precious time been spend together as a family or group.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Harun_Olamilekan_Abdulrazaq

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Is Mike Byster Really a Human Calculator?

Mike Byster, the genius in Mathematics is also called as the Human Calculator because of the speed that he calculates the toughest of problems in seconds, just as a calculator does it.

He did a presentation at Goddard Middle school in 2007 and a few details are discussed here. While doing problems thrown at him, he just closed his eyes and shifted his head to both the sides and the answer was there. Students were so impressed, that they just kept asking questions and they just fell for him for his wonders in mathematics.

Mike, then explained that how he developed the passion of learning maths. The basics that should be done are to learn how to memorize techniques, concentration, discipline and hard work to help their brains grow. Mike always believes that, children should always believe in themselves and where they are aiming to go.

According to the ABC 20/20, in one of Mike's interviews, he himself states that psychologists call him the Human Calculator for the lightning speed he has in solving even the toughest and complicated mathematical problems. Mikes' Maths is what he names his system of solving problems. It involves a series of shortcuts and patterns that demystify how numbers work.

His passion for solving problems started at the age of 3 or 4. He used to try memorizing things and at that age, he was able to recite almost all the presidents of United States. That is power of mental capacity in kids. While growing up, he wanted to use his potential in a good manner; however, he never thought that he would become a teacher.

Teaching Kids to think differently

This is what exactly Mike does. He wants children to think differently so that they learn the art of memorizing things not only in mathematics but also in all aspects of life. For example, in one of his classes he asked his students to memorize randomly 10 words. The students recalled about half the words. Then Mike used a simple mnemonic technique. He narrated a story using those ten words and the retention rate was remarkable. This was interesting as well increased the confidence level of the students for the future.

Thus, with the blessing, Mike Byster has received and with hard work, he has come to be known as the human calculator. In all means and the speed and way, which he adopts his thinking is just remarkable thus enabling the next generation of children to believe in their minds.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

A Book Review: Too Wise to Be Mistaken, Too Good to Be Unkind by Cathy Steere - Dealing With Autism

Years ago a lady from my church invited me to a seminar given by the neurodevelopmentalist that she worked with to help her son, Drew. I had been looking for a way to further my education with the goal of having better solutions for families who came to me with learning challenges. With my M.A. in Special Education I worked with home schooling families, but I noticed that the tools I had learned with that Master's was primarily accommodating the learning challenges rather than eliminating them. I wanted to help more so I had begun a search for a way to actually help families in a meaningful way. This timely invitation led me to the neurodevelopmental approach.

That lady was Cathy Steere who has shared the story of her family's journey with autism. When you read her book, Too Wise to Be Mistaken, Too Good to Be Unkind, you will know why I have been studying and applying the neurodevelopmental approach in my work ever since.

Amazingly, David and Cathy Steere did not have a diagnosis of autism until Drew was almost four years old. They felt like they had lost so much time, but the beauty of their story is that they had been faithfully following God's Word in the training of Drew. They had focused on building his character and disciplining him according to God's direction in His Word. All of that made the individualized neurodevelopmental plans that their neurodevelopmentalist, Cyndi Ringoen, eventually wrote for Drew much more efficient. Often, parents have to begin with getting behavior under control before they can make any progress at all. By not knowing they were dealing with autism, but knowing what the Bible taught about the nature of man and the nature of God, they proceeded with God's plan for Drew and later their second son, Elliot.

Whether or not there are learning or behavioral challenges, any parent will find encouragement as you read this account. For those who are facing any sort of challenge, you will find comfort in knowing that God has given direction to parents in the form of principles. God will lead parents to professionals who can come along side to give encouragement and tools to work with your child to meet his needs. By reading this book, you will learn how the neurodevelopmentalist looks for missing pieces in development and teaches parents to do activities that stimulate the brain in a way that encourages that development.

Personally, I cry with the Steeres every time I read Cathy's book. Some are tears of sorrow for the difficult times they experienced. Others, are tears of joy when Cathy wrote about the first time Drew ran to her for comfort, giving her his first awkward hug. Though often taken for granted, that simple action in a child with a condition like Drew's, is a milestone in development. I count it a privilege to work with families like Drew's because of the perseverance of these parents in researching and following through on whatever it takes for their children.

Maggie operates the Center for Neuro Development in Lakewood, Washington, along with her husband Ronnie. Maggie earned a M.A.in Special Education from Adams State University in 1989. She has been in an internship / independent study leading to certification with the International Christian Association of Neurodevelopmentalists. They offer local, on site services as well as some long distance consultation. They work with homeschoolers as well as those who attend school.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

What Is the Definition of Intellectual Disability?

Prior to Rosa's Law, which President Obama signed into law in October 2010, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) used the term "mental retardation" instead of "intellectual disability." Rosa's Law changed the term to be used in the future revisions of IDEA to "intellectual disability." Rosa's law is named for a nine year old girl who has Down's Syndrome, who with and her parents and sibling advocated for the state of Maryland to change the term "mental retardation" to intellectual disabilities". After accomplishing this, legislators decided to bring the legislation to the federal forum and have passed Rosa's Law.

The definition itself, however, did not change. The definition of intellectual disability is, therefore, defined in IDEA as "significantly sub-average general intellectual functioning, existing concurrently with deficits in adaptive behavior and manifested during the developmental period, that adversely affects a child's educational performance." This is generally interpreted as an IQ below 70-75 paired with delays in reaching developmental milestones. The adaptive behaviors referred to in the law are usually related to self-care, speech development, motor development, behavior and social skills.

In a speech on October 8, 2010, President Obama stated the following in regards to this new law. "Now this may seem to some people like a minor change, but I think Rosa's brother Nick put it best -- he said, 'What you call people is how you treat them. If we change the words, maybe it will be the start of a new attitude towards people with disabilities'." Although many people think the word "disability" has a negative connotation in itself, intellectual disability is a far better term for the most common disability seen today.

Although many people only equate Down's Syndrome, and maybe Fragile X, as the intellectual disabilities we are talking about, the category of people who fall into this disability is far larger. Genetic abnormalities are certainly included but so are children who have mothers who experience issues with their pregnancy, including exposure to certain illnesses and toxins and mothers who drink alcohol or use drugs during their pregnancy. There are also many children born with intellectual disabilities who experience trauma during labor and birth, including issues that cause a lack of oxygen to the baby. Although it is more common to be born with an intellectual disability, some children do develop intellectual disabilities from exposure to toxins in the environment such as lead as well as certain diseases that can affect neurological development. Neurological impairment caused by an accident does not fall into this category; there is a separate category for those people called, Traumatic Brain Injury.

With increased participation in early intervention services, people with intellectual disabilities can achieve so much. As Nick, Rosa's brother, indicated attitude does make a difference. An positive attitude by parents, educators and the general population that people with intellectual disabilities can learn much more than previously thought and can, in many circumstances, hold down a job, live independently, have meaningful relationships with people and/or contribute to society in general is important.